Things have been fine. I’ve been thinking too much like always. The weather is freezing, and hopefully it’ll snow more. I can’t wait until snow days, hot chocolate, and pictures.

I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing to say. Everything’s been said.
My life is moving in this slow, repetitive pattern that I’ve been trying so hard to break.
I guess I can start at Halloween and work my way to now, with what’s happened.

Halloween:
I went trick-or-treating with Catie and her friends. After that, we took two beers, a Smirnoff and a Coors lite, two cigarettes and an apple juice, and sat down in the middle of the cauldasac [i spelt that wrong, and firefox can't spell it so fuck it] about fifteen feet from Catie’s house.  We striped down to our underwear and ran up and down the hill like mad. That was some nice fun.
I don’t smoke, and I don’t drink, but I did. And I didn’t feel guilty, and I didn’t feel bad, and I didn’t not want to do it again. And that doesn’t even worry me.

After Halloween, no specific dates, just occurrences.

• Wrote Anthony a letter, I’m not giving it to him due to his hating me and thinking I’m obsessed with him. It was just a few poems I’ve written, since he said he wanted to see my writing one day. [by the way, you can go check it out here.]
• I saw some adorable kid in Wal-Mart on Sunday. The next day I found out he’s in my school. I’ve been planning on talking to him, but he hasn’t been in school for two days. I don’t know.
• Jay has told me some facts on what Anthony did when he broke up with me. He missed me for three to four days. He actually felt sort of bad. But that didn’t stop him from snogging Allie.
• Allie, I’ve been talking to her actually. We’ve been becoming friends again. Not hella close, but we talk. I don’t know.
• Nina, remember her. She’s become one of my best friends, actually. I guess that started at the end of last year, and really struck this year. I don’t know.
• There’s nothing else to say. I come home, I sit on my ass, I read, I go to bed.

My life is incredibly boring, but I’m actually enjoying aspects of it now.
Ya know how it is.

love,
your monster.

I think I’ll just go read the Catcher in the Rye.
And then sleep.

If you haven’t read it already, you should.
I love it. It’s becoming one of my favorites already.

Also, I bought Candy by Kevin Brooks for 4.04 on amazon.
My favorite book ever. And it came today.
I was very happy. You should read that too.

Uhm, yeah. I guess I’ll be on tomorrow.
Maybe I’ll make a video instead of typing.
I don’t know. We’ll see.

Goodnight,
your monster.

I Can Barely Breathe/Manchester Orchestra.

Hi guys.
Or hi, no one.
It’s cold.
The leaves are gone.
Free candy has been collected.
October is over.
Hello, November.
Thanksgiving is coming up soon.
Soon after it will be Christmas.
There’s no point to this,
but I guess there’s a point to everything so there is a point to this.

Okay, bye.
-Your Monster.

And I’m not upset it’s not.
Okay, I am.
But, I’m not like, “WAHHHHHHHHH.”
Ya know?

I don’t know.
This is pointless.
I’ve been posting a lot of pictures lately,
sorry about that.
I don’t know, I get bored.
But the one from that fall day, like two or three posts down,
I really like those.

Alright bye.

my thoughts on everyone i’ve lost.

my thoughts on sappy love that i can’t have.

pretty wonderful what you can do with these things, no?

I’ve had mine so long.
It’s just part of my life now.

The words that are contained in such a simple website are jaw dropping.
Was I like that at one point?
Did I think that at one point?

It’s amazing to see how much things change,
and how some things never do.

I love that.

sorry, i don’t have much to say, and i’ve really just been taking my crap pictures while i’m bored. fall is so pretty though. so they’re not ugly, they’re just not good.

:’D

i’ve eaten four apples today.
this was number one.

death has never looked so good.

ruined my whole life.

that’s a false statement.
three weeks made my life wonderful.
but only for a short amount of time.
after those three weeks,
i was a mess,
and still am.
can’t seem to pull myself out of it.

i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.

there’s snow on those leaves that only started falling a week or two ago.

see?

i love this so much. you have no idea.

fifteen minutes later, those footprints were gone.

now, i know. i lack skill in the photography department. but i take pictures for fun, so whatever.

For the first time in so long,
I’m actually pretty happy.
I can think about Anthony without nearly crying,
and I can talk about him without getting emotional.
And I’ve been talking about him a lot lately.
Six months, and the relationship is finally closed to me.
Talking about it makes it better though.
Makes it seem real.
It happened.
I miss him tons,
but I’ll live.
And I’ll move on.

I stayed after school today with some friends.
That was fun.
It’s nice to go out and do things with others rather than come home,
and sit on my ass all day and night.
I don’t know.
It’s just not appealing anymore.

It snowed yesterday.
Mid-October and it snowed.
I usually hate cold weather and snow, but I loved it.
It was wonderful.

What else?
Oh I don’t really know.
I’m so like, I don’t know.

OH!
Ellen Hopkins’ new book, Tricks.
Amazing.
Love it<3

You should most definitely read all her books if you haven’t already.
She’s my favorite author.

That’s all.
Love,
-your monster.